An Alarming Death Notice!
We are sorry to announce the passing of Mr. Midweek Service. He died recently at the Neglected Church on Ho Hum Avenue. Born many years ago, he was once strong and healthy. He grew as he was fed on zeal and sincere Bible study. His influence was felt worldwide, and he has rightly been considered as the most influential member of the Church family. However, in recent years Mr. Midweek service has been in failing health, wasting away until rendered helpless by stiffness of the knee, cooling of the heart, and a lack of spiritual sensitivity. He was quoted as whispering some last words about the absence of his loved ones.
We have also been informed that Midweek’s wife, Mrs. Sunday Evening Service, has just been admitted to the local hospital. Preliminary tests by Dr. I.M. Unconcerned, revealed that the same disease that struck her husband down has now infected her and has greatly diminished her strength. At this point, her disease also appears to be terminal. Her recovery depends upon care and concern.