Choose Your Words Wisely

Greg Kiel

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

Are you aware that there are over 100 such proverbs in this inspired book just related to the need for wisdom in our speech? Why is there such an emphasis? The general consensus is that we speak an average of around 16,000 words per day. When our words come out, we get no “do-overs” or “go-backs.” Apples of gold in settings of silver is a beautiful description that the right words spoken at the right time are as exquisite as fine jewelry. Of course, the opposite of words that are more precious and valuable than gold and silver are those poorly chosen and damaging words. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

Why then does it matter? Are such words of wisdom just mere suggestions and optional for our consideration? Are our interpersonal skills really that important? The premier source, Jesus Christ teaches, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:35-37).

What a humbling reminder of why words have meaning. We can see that our speech is powerful. James, the brother of Jesus, warns us of its danger. Through the depiction of fire, though the tongue is small, it is still quite capable. It holds the ability to commend or corrupt, to bless or to blame. It is so powerful that it cannot be mastered and has the capability of making our religion worthless (James 1:26).

God knows our tendencies to talk too much, as well as to not carefully consider our words before speaking. However, God doesn’t leave this quandary with us to figure out. God provides the path to success in our lives through the pursuit of His wisdom.

However, we often limit the effectiveness of this instruction. What initially comes to mind is how we shouldn’t gossip, lie or curse. While these sins are certainly of utmost significance and not to be minimized, let us consider other impactful word choices including those fitly spoken, as described by Solomon.

“He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles” (Proverbs 21:23). With such power in the meaning of our words, it should reflect the communication of a Christian. Solomon describes the friction and trouble from thoughtless expressions. There is value in just staying out of trouble through simply exercising caution with our communication. “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil” (Proverbs 15:28). Do you want to be considered righteous before God? Absolutely, and the way to answer is to consider what comes out of our mouths and in the 21st century, from our keypads.

Job, a righteous man from Uz, had some friends that demonstrated this importance. In Job’s response to their useless advice, “Miserable comforters are you all! Will your long-winded speeches never end?” Job 16:2-3. These friends illustrated how “Everyone is wise until he speaks.” This good man had lost everything. During a time of need for comfort and support, is this the best that his “friends” could offer? “There is a time to speak and a time to keep silent” (Ecclesiastes 3:7).

Another timely response for silence is during moments of anger. When we are angry, there’s a high likelihood that our words will not be fitly spoken and such is the fruit of the Spirit. James 1:19 instructs us: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19). Wisdom is the ability to talk less, thus avoiding the potential of sin. The probability of saying stupid things is considerably diminished through listening more and saying less. Even a fool can appear to be wise by not saying very much (Proverbs 17:28).

Finally, the apostle Paul teaches us that our words should be encouraging, “speaking those things that edify” Ephesians 4:29; such as to give one integrity and respect. “In all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us” (Titus 2:7-8).

Our conversation will be pleasing to the Lord if, through encouragement, it exhibits a spirit of gratitude. This will go a long way in defusing a negative perception by others. “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6). No encouragement is discouragement. The language of gratitude is one that is humble and inclusive, acknowledging the benefit from the contribution of others. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

May we prayerfully realize the impact of our words. Words are powerful, but we have the power, with the help of God, for our words to be an influence of good or, through our negligence, the power of evil. Being thoughtful and slow to speak will enable us to control our speech. Does it fit the occasion? Does it give grace to the hearer? Even though I may have knowledge of the scriptures, there is an improper way to articulate the ways of God to others. “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly” (Proverbs 15:2). May God bless us all with His wisdom in the use of our words in our communication with others!