Going to A Funeral?

Mark White

“IT IS BETTER TO GO TO THE HOUSE OF MOURNING THAN TO GO TO THE HOUSE OF FEASTING: for this is the end of all men, and the living will lay it to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of countenance the heart is made glad. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.” (Eccles. 7:2-4)

How many trips have we had to make to a cemetery or funeral chapel? Are they more than we would like to count? As we get older, it seems we go more often. Admittedly, birthday parties are more fun. Invitations to occasions of laughter and joy are more readily accepted than to a period of somber reflection at a funeral service. But Solomon’s wisdom says that it is better for us to go to the house of mourning than to the house of mirth. Why is this? Was Solomon preoccupied with morbidity, or did he learn something in his quest for wisdom we need to know also? With every funeral we attend, we learn something. Take a moment and consider the lessons learned in the “school” of mourning.

We are moving closer and closer to eternity. Time is rapidly fleeting by us all. Each day brings us closer to our own eternal destinies. This world is not all there is. As the old song says, “We are going down the valley, one by one.” We are forced to face the real issues of life. No one can really avoid this lesson in the house of mourning. At death, do possessions really matter? Is wealth, fame, power, or control important when they have all been laid down in the end? A party can help us escape reality; funerals make us face it.

We learn to make good use of our time. Minutes, hours, days, months, years — these are the ways we measure life on earth. Time is precious. We are never ready to lose those whom we love no matter how long they have been with us. Life is a loan from God, and it must be repaid. When life is gone, it is gone. To paraphrase Paul, “Make the most of your time.” (Ephesians 5:16)

We realize that others hurt, too. We often become so absorbed in our own problems, sufferings, and hurts that we forget there are other hurting people in this world. A party atmosphere deceives us into thinking everyone is having fun! In the house of mourning, we see others who hurt. It makes us serious about helping where we can, when we can.  We teach our children about death at funerals. It is surprising how many teenagers have never attended a funeral. Their parents shield them from it and then when death comes to someone close to them, they are totally unfamiliar with it. We prepare our children to live, but we should also prepare them to die. It may not be a walk in the park, but a funeral is good for young people, too.

Funerals are cultural events where some great life and death lessons can be observed. A funeral itself is not an essential event, but dealing with a death is most certainly necessary. Let’s not shy away from the house of mourning. It’s good for us.