Navigating Disagreements
Dylan Stewart
When we find ourselves in the middle of a disagreement with someone, it is important that we possess the correct attitude during these difficult situations. If we are not careful, we can escalate what started out as a minor problem and turn a disagreement into something far more destructive.
Whenever we disagree with someone, it is vitally important that before we say or do anything we make sure whatever we say/do is rooted in love. Paul wrote, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). If we properly love the person with whom we disagree, we will remain patient amid the disagreement, we will give the person the benefit of the doubt by not assigning evil motive without concrete evidence, we will continue to be kind in our interactions even if the other person is not acting kindly toward us (Matthew 5:43-48), and we will not allow ourselves to become easily provoked by any anything that is said or done with which we disagree. It takes a concerted effort during disagreements to manifest the love God requires from His people.
Another important first step to take during disagreements is to remain humble. Philippians 2:3 tells us, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Humility will lead us to accept and acknowledge when we are in the wrong; conversely, humility will lead us to “accept wrong” (even though we are the ones in the right) for the sake of peace (1 Corinthians 6:7); and humility will promote “harmony” even during unharmonious situations (Romans 12:16). Humility is key to navigating every kind of disagreement. Pride will only cause disagreements to escalate and worsen.
Whenever tensions start to rise during a disagreement, it is tempting to want to speak rather than listen. Yet, it is always important to listen first before speaking. The Spirit commands, “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19). Too often, disagreements are compounded because people feel compelled to get the first and last words in the conversation. However, when we are quick to speak rather than listen, we are at risk of making inaccurate and misplaced judgements. The writer of Proverbs says, “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him” (Proverbs 18:13). There is a difference between waiting our turn to speak and truly listening. If we seek to understand the other person’s perspective as we should, we will not answer the matter before we take the time to listen. This requires patience (Ephesians 4:2), and patience will improve almost any situation. Impatience, on the other hand, will often worsen the situation, especially when our impatience causes us to speak first rather than listen first.
Whenever we find ourselves in a disagreement, our goal should always be standing on the side of truth, whether factually or spiritually (1 Corinthians 13:6; Proverbs 23:23). We should never seek to sacrifice the truth, but such stands for truth should never cause us to neglect our responsibility of seeking peace with all men (Romans 12:8). Though we may try to seek peace, such is not always attainable, especially when the opposing side lacks love, humility, and patience. If we pursue peace but harmony is not possible, we must continue to keep loving the person, remain humble in our interactions, and stay patient with the person, even if it becomes increasingly difficult to do so. Ultimately, if we realize we are in a situation where we are at risk of sinning, the opposing side has no desire for peace, or the person refuses to acknowledge the truth of the matter, we must recognize when it is time to stop and, therefore, disengage from the conflict. The wise man concluded, “It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3). It takes strength to stop and step away from a disagreement that is on the brink of turning into or has already become a heated situation. We all have a responsibility to patiently and humbly correct people (especially when it comes to spiritual matters [2 Timothy 2:24-26]), but we also must be strong and wise enough to recognize when we are in a “no-win situation” and have begun casting our pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6). Sometimes – although difficult – we must be willing to shake the dust off our feet and move on (Matthew 10:14), all the while praying that the person with whom we disagree will eventually see the truth on whatever is causing the disagreement.
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What Does Preaching Accomplish?Bob Waldron
The prophets have messages which refresh us and encourage us. Sometimes they give us sober warning. Consider one of the lessons. Isaiah prophesied 740-700 B.C. He preached in Jerusalem but he saw the downfall of Israel to the north. He saw the terrible signs of decay in his own Judah. Although he had the sympathy and support of Hezekiah, the people of Judah gave little heed to his preaching. Also, some of the time, he dealt with a king such as Ahaz who had no sympathy for Isaiah’s cause whatsoever. A situation like that makes us wonder, “If people will not listen, why preach? What good does it do?” In Isaiah’s commission (ch. 6), the Lord says, “I need someone to do a job.” Isaiah volunteered. The job was: “Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes” (Isa. 6:10). How was Isaiah to do this? By telling them what God said. Isaiah wanted to know how long he should do this. God answered, “Until cities be waste without inhabitant, and houses without man, and the land become utterly waste” (6:11). God knew the heart of His people. He knew that they would reject His word. God wanted Isaiah to know that He knew they would respond this way. Yet He told Isaiah to preach to them anyway. Why? Isaiah was to preach with all his heart because he might convert his people. If he could not accomplish this, then he was to leave them no defense when judgment came. Let them drive the nails in their own coffin as it were. The preacher today is to preach with all his heart to win sinners from the clutches of this sinful generation. Preach with love and concern. But even when it seems that the effort is a failure, realize that this is not the case. We get preoccupied with numbers sometimes and forget that our objective is to do the bidding of God and leave the results in His almighty hand. God wants all men to be saved (1 Tim. 2:4). If, however, a generation turns away from God, then God wants them to have a witness against them that they were taught. He wants them taught again and again, so that their rejection of His will is complete. Whether they obey or whether they are lost, “yet they shall know that there hath been a prophet among them” (Ezek. 2:5). This lesson is not to say that we should deaden our hearts to the fate of doomed men and women but to help us realize that when we have done our best to preach the word, and the world will not respond, we have not failed if we have faithfully taught the word. __________Peter Reminds of Our RelationsGary Smalley In 1 Peter 2:17, Peter wrote what may be considered a concise, four-point summary of the Christian’s relations to others. Please consider the Christian’s duty to live by these imperatives: “Honor all people” – Though we live in an unkind world where most people have no interest in living for Christ, we must refrain from generating contempt for other people. Every human creature is made in the image of God. Remembering this will aid us in revering and venerating others, treating them in ways we wish to be treated (Matthew 7:12), and thus bringing glory to our Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16). This is how we keep our behavior excellent among others (1 Peter 2:12) and proclaim the excellencies of Christ and God (1 Peter 2:9). Since Jesus died for all (Hebrews 2:9), can we not honor all? “love the brotherhood” – The Christian’s honor for all men deepens into a more profound and undefeatable goodwill toward “those who have received a faith of the same kind as ours,” (2 Peter 1:1). The church (“brotherhood”) is the family of God (“the household of the faith”, Galatians 6:10; “God’s household”, Ephesians 2:19). When a Christian acts in relation to a fellow Christian it is always for that person’s benefit or good, as a member of the same spiritual family. Peter said that our souls have been purified for a sincere and fervent love of the brethren (1 Peter 1:22). It is impossible to be a lover of God without brotherly love (1 John 4:20). This characteristic is never optional, it is essential. “fear God” – This is the Christian’s deepest and highest reverential respect, and it is always directed toward heaven. It is where the Christian’s deepest devotion abides. It is poles apart from arrogance and self-will. “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;” (Proverbs 1:7). “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,” (Proverbs 9:10). Men commit crimes in the world because there is no fear of God in their lives (Romans 3:18). “honor the king” – It would not be possible to bring glory to our heavenly Father as “lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15) if Christians failed to be law-abiding citizens, submitting to the chief authority in civil government and their righteous and noble decrees. Peter admonished, “Make sure that none of you suffers as a murderer, or thief, or evildoer, or a troublesome meddler;” (1 Peter 4:15). Peter had previously commanded: “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.” (1 Peter 2:13-15). Men are due honor, but not adoration or worship. Old Hickory Bulletin __________Thinking About the HereafterMike Johnson A man once asked, “Do you ever think about the hereafter?” He thought for a few seconds and said, “I go into a room to get something, but once I get there, I can’t remember what I went to get. So I think, ‘What am I here after?’” The man did not answer the question in the sense that it was asked. The questioner used “hereafter” to refer to life, or our state, after death, which we must consider. We need to consider what we will be in eternity. Jesus gave an example in one of his parables of a person who thought only about this life. In Luke 12, He spoke of a certain rich man who had significantly prospered and had finally run out of room to store his harvest. He decided that he would pull down his barns and build greater barns. Then he said (19-20), “. . . And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’” This man only thought of this life and did not consider the hereafter. People must consider that eternal reward and punishment are waiting for everyone. In Matthew 25:46, Jesus described the fate of the wicked and the righteous. He said, “And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.” In Matthew 6:19-21, Jesus said, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.” We do need to think about the hereafter. However, it is not enough to only think about it—we must obey God. We will be judged based on what we do on this earth (2 Cor. 5:10, Rom. 2:6). Becoming a Christian and remaining faithful in our service to God is essential. __________Willing to DieAlan Smith How many people would you be willing to die for? Be honest now! Maybe your husband or wife, one of your children, but the list starts to get pretty short after that, doesn’t it? Can you imagine dying in the place of a convicted criminal? Someone is scheduled to die on death row for murder, and you say, “Please let me take his place!” Not very likely, huh? Paul was so right when he said, “For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:7-8) Why would Christ do that? Only the love of an Almighty God could be willing to sacrifice so much. We should respond in praise, and in a desire to give all our love and obedience to the One who loved us more than life itself. via The Beacon ____________________________________________ Sermon Audio Sermons The Day of Reckoning is Coming(2 Peter 3) Wes Brown ==================================================== Editor: Mike Johnson |
The Old Testament prophet was the preacher of his day. He was inspired, but other than that, he served in the same role as preachers must serve today. There were all kinds: blunt Amos, noble Isaiah, austere Elijah. There were also different purposes served by the various prophets. Some of them made virtually no converts (Jeremiah). Some were very successful, even when they did not want to be (Jonah).