John Clark

A letter in the newspaper was written by an unhappy woman who complained that her husband thought it funny to make her pet cat drunk by pouring gin in its milk.  The distressed woman complained that the cat would dance like mad, stagger around in circles, and finally fall in a heap in the corner and go to sleep.  Besides, the cat was losing all her hair as a result of the diet; and what did a cat look like without any hair?

Immediately, letters poured into the newspaper from aroused readers all over the country, denouncing the husband and suggesting various degrees of punishment for a man who would be so cruel to animals.

Perhaps I have a warped sense of human; but the reaction of readers struck me as ironically funny.  Give an animal liquor and you are considered cruel.  Give a man liquor and you are considered sophisticated.  Let an animal reel, act foolish, fall in a drunken stupor and immediately it is an occasion for readers from coast to coast to howl in protest.  Let a man do the same thing, and we simply ignore it.

We shouldn’t give liquor to a dog or a cat.  It is inhumane.  Yet, we give it to our sons and daughters, business associates and friends.  With all the advertising media at our command we continually urge them to drink it.  It’s not fit for a dog or cat, but is fit for our children!  How crazy can we get?